Momentum Sunday

This weekend we were making out our shopping list and when asking my husband what he wanted for dinner this week, the list read largely like the list a triumphant seven year old with overindulgent parents might put together: hot dogs, pizza, chicken fingers. Not so, thought I! I'm cracking open the new Momentum cookbook and preparing some new and tasty dishes.

I decided to try two different recipes, one for lunch and one for dinner. I was dying to try the "Best Ever BLTs". I haven't had a BLT since long before I joined WW, but I do like them. I was a bit skeptical about trying turkey bacon, but in for a penny, in for a pound, so I bought some on my shopping excursion Sunday morning.

Well, I don't know if it's the best ever BLT, but it is pretty darned good. It should be called an ABLT, as it has avocado included on it. I like avocado, but if I make this again, which I probably will as I have an entire package of turkey bacon looking for a good excuse to be eaten, I might leave off the avocado.

The pesto mayonnaise was a fantastic touch, and very easy to prepare. I really enjoyed it instead of plain mayonnaise, which I am not that crazy about. The turkey bacon was fine, not as good as the real thing, perhaps, but knowing it was a healthier choice kind of pushed me towards it as a certainly viable option.

Overall, I'd give this recipe a B+/A-. I really enjoyed eating a good BLT and this was no exception. The minor quibbles I had with it weren't worth getting too excited about. I used Pepperidge Farm 15 grain bread, which I recommend. As you all remember, when I started eating a lot of fiber and grain bread products, I had a very difficult time. Eventually I switched to Nature's Own Whitewheat on Lauren's suggestion, which has proved very satisfactory. But the picture of that bread in the cookbook made me want to eat something more substantial, so I bought the 15 grain bread and had no problems with it whatsoever.

For dinner, we tried the turkey cutlets milanese. Since joining WW, we have pretty much been on a chicken and turkey diet. We never liked to eat too much beef anyway--it was rare I would make something like beef stroganoff, and we never ate steak or roasts or anything of that nature. The only beef we were big on was ground beef for things like tacos or burgers. However, even that we have mostly supplanted with ground turkey now. I swear, we are going to sprout feathers and either cluck or gobble. Apparently, there is a WW booklet coming called "Beyond chicken" and I am lokoing forward to that.

So, I am on the prowl for new poultry recipes to jazz up our menu of fowl. (Nyuk nyuk) I found this turkey cutlets Milanese and decided that it sounded like a good Sunday dinner kind of thing. I have never made turkey cutlets before, but I do make chicken cutlets, which Michael and I both LOVE to eat, and I figured turkey cutlets would be pretty similar.

The recipe was easy enough to follow, dipping the cutlets in a mixture of egg and lemon juice and then into a mixture of corn meal and parmesan cheese before sauteeing them in some olive oil. The result is a very nice, crisp cutlet that is quite flavorful. It does taste like turkey, and I don't know why that surprised me, but when I bit into it, I thought, "Wow, this actually tastes like turkey!" I guess I expected a milder kind of chickeny taste. I dunno.

Anyway, the recipe was quite good and garnered rave reviews from my other half. The cutlet is topped with a salad of greens and halved cherry tomatoes covered in a balsamic vinaigrette dressing, which I left off his portion. I served mine over a bed of Barilla Plus pasta and his with a side of mashed potatoes, and we were both most satisfied at the results. It was very filling and a nice twist on what could have been another ho hum poultry dinner. I will say that I didn't taste the lemon in it at all. If it was there, it was so subtle as to be overpowered by the parmesan and salad dressing, which is fine with me as I am not a big lemon fan anyway. I don't hate it, I just don't love it. I would give this one a grade of A. We both really enjoyed it.

So thus endeth Momentum Sunday. I plan to try the Thai shrimp salad this weekend when I have company around to help me eat it, as I don't think The General will stand for it. He can have hot dogs or something! Hope everyone is having a good week out there!

Weekly Report

Well, since I had a loss today, I am reporting in early :-) I credit this week's 2 pound loss to the new DVD. That thing makes me work it, while at the same time having fun. The added bonus is that it's exactly the same amount of time as the General is on the treadmill, so we start and finish at the same time and can sit on the couch and groan together. Fun!

I am now down 54.8, so it maybe sucks just a little bit that I didn't hit 55 this week, but oh well! Next week.

I can hardly believe it's December and I'm actually losing. It has helped tremendously that I'm not baking yet--this is often my baking weekend. No Christmas goodies or snacks around, though, so that's been helpful.

I'm trying to think of a goal that I want to hit after I hit my 60 pound goal, which was my post-10% goal. 75 is the next logical step. I just need a deadline. Maybe by our anniversary in April, but that seems a bit far in the future. Still, one never knows what will happen, so it might be good to plan it like that.

I want to put in a plug for those new Progresso soups which have WW points values on the label. Yesterday I got home, and I knew I was short on points, but I wanted a snack, so I grabbed a zero point soup and ate half the can (one serving). It did a great job of a) filling me up and b) warming me up. I'm stocking up on them--lots of coupons, so we can get lots of soup!

Till next week...

A Slight Uptick on the Scale

This week, I am late in posting. I always hate posting on the weeks I have a slight gain, or any gain, for that matter, not that this one was anything worth crying over. I went up 0.2, which in WW land is akin to maintaining.

I suspect it happened on account of the fact that last week was so nuts. There were 3 days I didn't get to do any exercise at all apart from the day-to-day stuff of shopping and wandering around per my usual routine. This has been drastically remedied this week, however.

After a long time of Sweatin' to the Oldies, I decided it was time to trade it in on a newer model, so I pulled out my DVD of 60's Blast Off. I could about fall asleep while I was "Sweatin'" and I figured it wasn't giving me as good of a work out as it could any more. When I started Sweatin' 53 pounds ago, it was a struggle. I couldn't even do the entire DVD, fast forwarding through the Wipe Out section, which involved a lot of running and hopping and skipping. 53 pounds later, however, not only can I do the entire DVD, but I'm not breaking a sweat doing it.

Enter 60's Blast Off. Richard has traded in his Yale wifebeater and candy cane striped shorts for hot pink and sparkles. And he's taken the exercise up a notch. This DVD is much shorter--only about 30 minutes. But it is an intense 30 minutes. By the time it's over, I am sweating and am really out of breath. However, it is actually FUN and I feel like I'm a coordinated dancer type when I do it. I think it's probably giving me good results, though I won't know till Saturday. So I'm excited to do that.

I'm also excited to note that this week, the General has been consistently breaking 1 mile on his treadmill. Yesterday was his personal best at 1.06 miles in 26 minutes. When we started, he couldn't do but 5 minutes before collapsing. And for a long time, he's been stuck at .95 miles. So this is a big step and I'm really proud of the work he's putting into it!

Ok, see you all on Saturday!

Minus 50 Picture

So much has been going on that I totally forgot to post my Minus 50 Picture. It's been cold here, so I'm back in jeans, etc. and so I don't know if anyone will see much difference, but what the heck. I'm posting it for kicks :-)

And as before, a picture from me in Savannah to compare and contrast :-)

Happy Weigh In Day!

Well, it's the Saturday after Thanksgiving, a great national holiday pretty much devoted to food. So, I had my plan in place for how to handle it and did some extra exercising. But I also had my familial food pushers in town, which made it a challenge--yesterday lunch, for instance, was an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet.

But I did it. I stuck to the plan and ate well, and today I came up with a loss of 1.4, for a grand total of 53 pounds!

Christmas is another matter entirely and one I am somewhat dreading. Christmas isn't a day. It's a season. And I love baking. So I'm really trying to force myself to scale back on the baking this year--though it will be hard--and give out lots of goodie boxes to friends and neighbors.

Today's meeting focused on food pushers. I think I've become the worst kind. I packed up a bag of Thanksgiving leftovers for Judy and Lucas and I put in it everything I didn't want hanging around the house: green bean casserole, stuffing, mashed potatoes, dark meat turkey. Let them eat it and get fat. I'm sticking to the plan :-)

The Big 5-0

Yes, I did it. This week, by some miracle I registered a total loss of 51.6, with a weekly loss of 2.8 pounds. My mom went to the meeting with me and was there when I got my new little millstone charm.

I can hardly believe it. Even better, this morning I pulled out my overalls, which I haven't worn in a year. They used to be really snug across the middle and now they're a bit loose.

Life is good. Hopefully I don't blow it on Thanksgiving. :-)

Weekly Weigh In

I had a good week this week, due I suspect in no small part to the fact that I quit with the Seasonale. It was not a good fit for me, so it is gone. And I feel so much better.

So I had a pretty decent drop this week, down 2.4 pounds for a total of 48.8. Only 1.2 to go before I hit 50, so I'm hoping to do that this week. It will be very exciting if I can do it the week before Thanksgiving. Plus, it would then mean I lost all the weight I gained since our wedding, which would be a pretty incredible milestone.

My little weigh in book is almost full--just one week to go and I'll have filled it up. I find that as much a milestone as anything--it is a testament to my tenacity at WW, which is also not something I expected to continue doing regularly.

I am nervous about the holidays, but I am trying to plan for it. Next week, our meeting will focus on how to survive Thanksgiving. I definitely need to learn how to do that. And maybe how to learn to survive the entire month of December. I love, love, love baking for Christmas, and even though I plan to scale waaaaaaaaaaaaay back this year, it's still going to be hard not to dive into fresh baked cookies.

So, that's what's new from Kosior Central. Let's hope the trend continues!

It's the Weekend Weigh In Report

This weekend had just a small loss, -0.4. It is totally my fault. I am slowing down on this WW thing and losing my enthusiasm. It's week 7 with a weight loss in the 40's and that's kind of bringing me down a bit. I was putting a lot of work into WW, and this past couple of weeks, I just haven't. I've been tired of tracking and counting and weighing and measuring. The program clearly works--46.4 pounds in 6 months is nothing short of a miracle. I'm just not in a good place right now and with everything else going on in life, I just got it into my head that I could sort of fudge it and it would come out OK.

Well, ultimately it did, I lost nearly a half a pound. And the attitude of "I'll take anything with a minus sign" is truly a good one--I will and happily.

However, when I trudged home, it was time for a pep talk, and my husband gave me a doozy. I'm in his army now, and by God, he's not letting me quit! This was the first weekend I didn't just let it go and figure I'd worry about it on Monday. Every time we had a meal and it was over, I'd hear, "Did you put your points in?" Although I was busy with NaNo, I did my aerobic workout anyway, with him cheering me on.

I also read one of the passages from "A Shot in the Arm", which came with my deluxe new member kit. And the woman's friend said something to her along the lines of, "Look what you're doing with no effort at all. Imagine if you started working at this."

So that has stuck with me. While the past 6 months haven't been no effort, I can say for the past month, I've just kind of slid along. So this week I am renewing my committment to this project and hope that I see some results soon.

Also, the great Seasonale experiment turned into a failure, so I am going back off the pills. That may make a difference. Here's hoping.

Good Bye, Pink Shorts

I have lost darn near 50 pounds, and my clothes are very loose, but nothing that I could say "I'll get rid of this and go down a size." Part of this is because I have always worn my clothes a bit loose, and also because I started buying a lot of clothes with elastic and spandex, so it's still fitting nicely, versus when it was a little (or a lot) tight. Frankly, one of my main reasons for joining Weight Watchers was that I had a bunch of gift cards to Catherine's, and I bought a lot of new clothes in January, and by April they barely fit.

And, frankly, I'm stingy. I hate to throw out or get rid of things that I perceive have a lot of wear in them. Many of the soles of my shoes have the treads worn off or completely through. I wear holey underwear until it falls apart. (TMI, I know, I know.) Clothing that has paint on it goes into the "chore day" pile. Other stains goes into the "still got some wear, I can probably work out or do housework in it" pile. I heat my pens to get the last drops of ink out of them. I turn bottles of soap, shampoo, detergent, ketchup upside down to get every last drop out of them...

So it is killing me that the time has come to say goodbye to my first article of clothing that is still in really good shape, almost perfect in fact: my pink shorts.

I am sad to say goodbye to the pink shorts. I got them on sale at the Avenue for $7 back in May. When I bought them, I could barely get them on and buttoned and zipped--they were really, really tight.

By the time the first 20 was gone, I was able to wear the pink shorts to my sister's wedding rehearsal and dinner, and they were my most comfortable pair and I loved the color. "Pink is mah signature color."

But tonight, I was doing my nightly fitness ritual with Mr. Simmons on the TV and the General on the treadmill and as I lunged, my shorts suddenly decided they preferred the company of my ankles. Yes, they fell right the heck off.

*Sigh* I love a comfy piece of clothing and I love, love, love me a bargain. But I can't be strolling around with my shorts falling off. Well, maybe I could, it would surely make life much more interesting.

Early Weigh-In

I weighed in today to outwit the damage that will surely be done at the Melting Pot's Halloween par-tay this evening. And I'm glad I did! 1.2 pounds gone for an even 46 pounds off the bod.

I switched back to doing Richard Simmons this week. I was really hitting the step aerobics hard on the Wii Fit and my knee has been acting up. This led me to the conclusion that I needed to take it easy on all the step aerobics, so I decided to go back to Sweatin'. And really, Sweatin' is a lot more fun than up down up down up down for 20 solid minutes. Although I was proud of myself--1600 steps is your 20 minute goal, and I've broken 2000 every single time and broken 2200 three times. Still, my knee needs a rest and I can modify the Sweatin routine a little bit to avoid all the lunges and kneeling.

Michael keeps lecturing me about November. Why? Last year, November was when we fell off the exercise wagon. With NaNo, I got so busy in the evenings that I didn't exercise. Plus, we were eating take out pretty much non-stop. This year, my goal is to make some big meals--big pots of chili, spaghetti sauce, etc. to have at the ready. I will also set aside time to do the exercising. If I can take an hour to watch Pushing Daisies, by God I can take 40 minutes to sweat my increasingly smaller butt off!

So that's the news from here. We opened our Halloween candy today at lunch time, which was a mistake. How can a Kit Kat taste so good? I had to stop myself, I could have eaten the whole bag. But I only ate 2. I'm going to be very generous with the kids tonight--the candy has to go!

Good-bye 43!

Well, I have finally done it. I got past the dreaded number 43, with a loss of 1.2 this week for a total of 44.8 pounds gone. After seeing 43 no fewer than 3 times in my last 4 weigh ins, I was getting mighty sick of that number.

Still, sometimes when I was getting discouraged I would sit back and say "I've lost 43 pounds." And then I would say, "HOLY CRAP! I'VE LOST 43 POUNDS!!!!" It really did hit me a few times in the past couple weeks just how much that is.

Lose for Good is over. Our center lost 3200+ pounds and gathered up 1400+ pounds in food for the food bank, which is really cool.

It's been a busy weekend. We baked all day yesterday--cookies, cake, homemade donuts, and fudge. It's all packaged up and I'll be setting out a little spread at work on Monday. I feel morally superior that I only ate 2 cookies and a donut whole. But that's only because there were chips and dip and Chinese food to be eaten. But I don't think I slipped too badly anyway. :-)

So this week has a couple of land mines built in--Pizza Hut on Monday and the Melting Pot on Friday. I've decided to weigh in on Friday this week instead of Saturday, so that I won't have to worry about it on Saturday morning after a night of wicked indulgence.

See you all next week.

A Small Loss

Well, I am back under my pre-gain weight. I lost a scant 0.6 this week, for a total loss of 43.6 pounds in 21 weeks. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in this result--this week I really burned it up where exercise was concerned, but I wasn't tracking as closely as I could have been.

I really want to see that 50 pounds gone, so I'm going to definitely step it up with tracking and activity this week. We'll see how they read next weekend!

Also, if everyone could send me an updated figure for your 2008 loss for the sidebar, I would appreciate it. I've lost track of who has lost what :)

Mostly Gone

Had a nice little bounce back from last week's 2.2 lb. gain. I got rid of 1.8 of it. I'm very happy with this result, considering it came after 2 potlucks and my in-laws' visit (I made homemade apple crisp--YUMMY!), which I am still in the midst of. This brings my total loss to exactly 43 pounds gone. Feels great.

This weekend is fraught with peril. Today is the Russian Festival, which I go to every year. Tonight we are taking the inlaws out to seafood for their birthdays, anniversary, etc. Tomorrow is book club.

Still, I think I will do pretty well. The book club is folding and only 3 or 4 of us will be attending, so there shouldn't be TOO much food available. I've started really putting myself on a schedule this week. Breakfast, snack between 10 and 11, lunch, snack between 4 and 5, dinner, snack between 8 and 9. I'm trying to regulate better, rather than binging 3 times a day. And I have to say, I've felt much better.

Also, discovered a new type of apple that is to-die-for: honeycrisp. I've never had these apples before, but they are SO good. A little tart, a little sweet, very crisp. Try them! It's like eating apple cider.

A Gain

Well, it was bound to happen, I had my first real gain this week: 2.2 lbs. They asked me if I was prepared for this, and the truth was, no, I am not.

I had a hell of a week. I got a minimum of 4 AP's every single day, which is their recommended number. Two days (Saturday and Thursday) I had way more than that. I was very strict with points, and stayed within my daily number every day.

So what happened?

Well, my speculations are these:

I had 3 weeks of really, really good losses. 4+ lbs. twice and nearly 2 pounds the other week. During those 3 weeks, my AP's were way down and I didn't track all that closely. I knew I was within range, so I didn't keep close track.

I'm guessing that this week is a bodily reaction to really "getting with the program". Kind of a hit-the-brakes type of thing from a very confused system which doesn't like radical change.

My other theory is that I've now been on the pill for 2 straight weeks and maybe it has something to do with that. I've come to this conclusion from Amy's blog about her experiences with her patches. If this turns out to be the case, I'm going to kiss the pill goodbye and go back to dealing with it. But I'll take a full course of it over the next 3 months to be sure.

So anyway, I'm going to continue to track carefully and do my 4 AP's per day and just keep at it as best I can and hope this week was a fluke. I thought I would be majorly bent out of shape about it, but I'm not. I was more upset by that .1 gain a few weeks ago.

The Picture That Made My Mom Cry

I took a picture of myself last night after leaving the rally and when I looked at it, I thought, "Geez, this is the first picture I've seen where I can tell a real difference!" I sent a bunch of pictures around last night, and my mom called this afternoon to say she'd been looking through them again and when she came to this picture, it actually made her cry--she couldn't believe the difference in the past 2+ months since I'd seen her.

So I thought I'd post it. Even though I've posted it elsewhere, it's the first picture of myself I've really liked in a long while.



My mom is joining Weight Watchers next week and called me (ME!) an inspiration. Wow. Pretty awesome.

Look Out, Mr. Gleck

I have caught up to you, Sir. :-)

By some miracle, I managed to have a nearly 5 pound loss this week--4.8 pounds. This was my best week ever, which I cannot understand given that I a) did not track 3 days; b) had pretty much whatever I wanted within reason; and c) didn't get a lot of trackable exercise.

I am now in the 200's for the first time in 2 1/2 years, that I can remember. I have no intention of ever seeing the 300's again. When I started out, I weighed 340 pounds on the dot, and when I saw that number, I thought I would faint. But that's what comes from lots of bad decision making, depression, and lack of activity.

I now weigh 296.6 and I hope to never come close to the 300 mark again. But the numbers have lost their power over me, which is why I am publicizing the numbers. I don't want to be ashamed of it and hiding, sneaking Twinkies in the dark. And coming from where I started from, I am proud to weigh 296.6. I never even considered the possibility I would lose 43.4 pounds so easily. I mean, yes, it's been work, but in the grand scheme of things, it hasn't been any harder than packing on 20 pounds earlier this year by laying in bed, crying and eating.

Onwards and downwards. Let's see if I can hit 50 pounds by mid-October.

First Post WW Physical

Today, the General and I had our annual physicals with our doctor.

I should state, for those who don't know, that I absolutely, completely, and totally love my doctor. For anyone who wants a new doctor in the DC area, go see Dr. David Leonard in Fairfax on Old Lee Highway. He makes it worth the 60-90 minute ride up there. I will not go anywhere else. I love everyone in his practice.

So anyway, today was my first physical or even my first medical appointment since joining Weight Watchers. I was pretty excited about it, because I knew I had done pretty well since joining.

What I didn't expect was the gushing reviews from Dr. Leonard after a scant 38 pound loss. He complimented me on how great I looked, how much I'd lost, and how well I was doing. He complimented me on my exercise regime, asked me lots of questions about Wii Fit, it was wonderful!

And the best part?

*DRUM ROLL PLEASE*

My blood pressure is back to normal!!!!!!!!!!

It's been elevated a bit for 2 years, and today, it was 120/76. Hot diggity dog! Good bye 130/90. :-) I'm back in business, baby! Let's hear it for non-scale victories!

Another Good Week

This week I had another decent loss. 1.6 pounds. Somehow I've lost 6 pounds in the past 2 weeks, when the three weeks prior to that I only lost 1.9 pounds. I've learned to appreciate any loss, but it certainly feels MORE fulfilling to see a 1.6 than a 0.9 :-)

It's been a busy day and I'm tired, so I'm heading to bed without further ado. Hope everyone else has a great week! :-)

Wahoo!!!!!!!!!!

It was a big week for me this week--three awards in one week. :-)

First of all, I removed 4.4 pounds this week. After it took 3 weeks to lose 1.9, I am totally shocked that I lost that much at once--and of course THRILLED.

This put me down 37.0 pounds total and put me WELL past my 10% goal. Plus I got my 16 weeks clapping hands.

To celebrate, we're going tubing this morning in Antietem. I'm so, so happy that I had a good week this week!!!

Down Again

I seem to be stuck in first class on the One Pound Express. I lost another pound this week, for a total of 32.6. However, according to the Wii Fit, I was two pounds less than that. I kinda like the Wii Fit results better this week. Last week, I liked WW's results better.

I'm excited about the new Lose for Good initiative. Our local WW center has asked us to bring in a pound of food per pound we lose to the local center to donate to the food bank here in Fredericksburg, so I'll be doing that for sure.

And for anyone interested in joining WW, they're waiving the registration fee the next 6 weeks during the Lose for Good campaign.

Till next week...

Woo Hoo!

I actually lost something!

That Wii Fit has me paranoid. All week, the weight fluctuates, and then this morning I get on and it shows a big loss. Part of it must have to do with clothing, but still... I left this morning convinced I'd have a zero sum game this week. In fact, my attitude was, "Let's just go and get this over with."

Happily, I lost an even pound this week. I will take it! It feels so good. I spoke to the leader about the lack of activity, and she just said to stick to the points as best as possible and do what I can do. So that's the plan.

I hope to get in a lot of activity this weekend with painting, so we'll see what happens from there!

And I just want to say a special kudos to Annette, my inspiration--if you haven't checked out her Weighty Matters blog this week, do it now. Link to the right.

Late Weigh In Report

Well, I had a real busy weekend, so I didn't have time to report in on my WW efforts for the week. I was kind of dreading going this week, thinking maybe I had gained a bit. In fact, I had a slight gain of 0.1, which the leader told me is basically nothing--if I went to the bathroom it would erase itself. So it's my first gain, but not one that I am worried about in the least.

This was a relief-the Wii Fit had me up and down all week, which is kind of interesting but definitely nerve wracking. I've stopped looking at the scale on it, and I hate weighing in on it, because it just shows a climb and a drop, a climb and a drop. I'd rather not know, frankly.

So I'm trying to be good and careful, but this is my birthday weekend which means CARVEL cake (mmmmmm) and my dad is visiting, so we had to get some donuts. I had two points left for dinner last night, so I basically ate some veggies and light ranch dip. But what the hell. It's only food.

So that's the latest. I am down 30.6 instead of 30.7 and I can live with that. Back on the wagon today and hope to stay on it. I didn't actually go over points this weekend, but if I miscalculated anything in the slightest, it would put me into 35-extra land, so I'm trying to be extra careful during this week.

Hope everyone else has a great week!

Before and Current Pictures

(as you can see in the background, even George is noticing small changes)

I don't have any real good "before" pictures, so I'll use this one we took of me in Savannah in February. Of course, this was before the proverbial "fit hit the shan" in March and I gained another 5 pounds, but it will do.

The other picture was taken today, when I am down 30 pounds from my original start weight. I'm hoping that seeing the two side by side might help me see some changes, which I still really don't see.

Although, it would have helped if I hadn't covered up completely from head to toe in Savannah. :-)

Just Got In...

And there are 2.1 pounds less of me than this time last week, bringing my total to 30.7 pounds lost in just under 3 months.

I am literally stunned. I was driving over there this morning and I felt thinner. There are weeks you can feel it and this is one of them. My clothes fit better, everything feels better (much less back pain, my feet don't hurt from standing after a little while, etc.), and I have a much better outlook on life in general.

I need to find a pre-WW picture and take a -30 picture :-)

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Knee Update

So, I went to the orthopedist today for my first post-PT check up. I was nervous because frankly, my knee is grinding like crazy. when I put my hand on my knee and bend, I can feel crunching. However, the ortho seemed very pleased with things. Driving still aggravates it the worst. If I am stuck in the car for longer than about 30 minutes, I can hardly walk when I get out of the car. You can imagine that this week has been a real challenge.

So I mentioned that and he explained the problem. Most people's knees, when they bed, are like roller blades gliding along linoleum. Mine are like roller blades trying to plow through plush carpet (in terms of the fact that my cartilage is soft).

So, I am supposed to keep up with the PT at least through the end of the month, if not longer. But the good news is this: with small modifications, I can go back to doing aerobics. I did some tonight, skipping the lunges and hard parts on the legs, and it felt so great. I got through the entire DVD. It made me so happy.

And I found out something interesting doing it: The upper body work out I was doing in lieu of the aerobics has really strengthened my arms. The worst part of the Sweating DVD's for me was the arms, and now I can breeze through that no problem. I am thrilled with that. I'll be doing the upper body stuff in the morning, since it's a quick 10 minutes, and the rest in the evening.

Our leader has us this week thinking of the Olympics and said that each time we hear something about the Olympics, we should think about what we can do to get some extra AP's, and that ideally, WW wants you to get 4 per day. So at least for the end of this week, I'm going to try pushing it just a little bit. I want to have a good weigh in in only 3 days. I think I might... The signs are positive. Today at work, I arrived in a skort because I didn't have time to come home and get changed after the orthopedist this morning. I got compliments ranging from "Sassy!" to "Sweet!" to "You look so good!" to "you look so cute!" And two men actually held doors for me in the past week :-) That's pretty stinkin' nice too.

Let's hope it translates to the scales!

I Just HAD to Inch Ahead

Well, despite a real bad week, I managed a slight loss of 0.8. Just a few short ounces ahead of my pal RW. Although I'm sure he'll kick my ass on Monday.

It was definitely not a good week, so I am oh-so-happy to have lost anything at all. On Tuesday, I grossly miscalculated one meal and was over my extra weekly points by 3.5 points. I wound up doing all my workouts plus walked around our block in the heat to make up for it, bringing me back under the 35 points by the end of that day. The rest of the week I was very strict with myself, but it was hard.

I'm hoping this week to see 30 pounds gone. I only have 1.4 to go to get there and it would make me happy to reach that milestone.

I Have Had a Lapse

I got a little depressed Sunday and yesterday and I just let the chips fall where they may and started eating. Last night, I got home and put in all the food I'd eaten and I really did a bad thing. I'm still within my weekly limits, but for the first time ever, I dipped into my weekly points, and in 2 days consumed 28 of them.

In the cool light of day, I realize I could have called my husband, could have taken a walk, done a crossword puzzle, anything to distract myself. But instead, I sat and ate. Book club did me no favors--the food was so good, I didn't want to prevent myself from eating whatever the heck I wanted.

I came home and did 20 minutes of exercise at 11:00 last night, but it was half-hearted and compared to the aerobics I'm used to doing, what can I say? It's not going to do much.

So I'm back on the wagon as of this morning, and fortunately I do have the points left over that I don't have to worry about it. Still, I hope that I won't allow myself to slip like that again. It was very, very worrying that it just went so far.

Hooray!

Just when I was starting to despair (a weigh in at the PT clinic this week showed a loss of a scant .6 pounds), I stepped on the scales this morning and found a loss of 3.4!!! My 10% goal is so close I can taste it. Ha ha. I really hope to make it by my birthday, which is 3 weeks from today.

And I got my 25 pound award. It felt so good to hold it in my hands this morning while everyone applauded for me. We have such a good and supportive group there. There were 3 of us who hit big this week--me at 25, another woman at 45, and a gentleman at 75.

I am now down 27.8 pounds. I honestly can't believe it. I never thought that this would work. I am actually looking forward to my physical this year--my doctor, I think, will be very pleased. Not that he's ever said anything about my weight, but, still, I think he'll be happy about it.

Anyway, hope everyone has a great weekend. We'll be busy, as usual. Visitors from Charlotte tomorrow, plus my dad is rolling in, although he's staying at my sister's. The General leaves for Boston on Friday, so I'm going to have a footloose and fancy free bachelorette weekend. Any ladies wanna come on down?

DVD Recommendation

I was in the fitness section at Target today looking for something I could do as an upper body work out, and I happened upon a DVD called 10 Minute Solution: Dance It Off & Tone It Up! I like 10 minute work outs. They don't seem too strenuous and I don't get bored with them. To be honest, I go just a little bit crazy on the treadmill, even if I have the TV on.

So I bought it. As a bonus it came with a toning band, and we're possibly having a toning band class at work, so I thought it would be fun to take a crack at using one early. (I also bought 2 two pound weights for when I'm walking, but I digress.)

So I popped it in and looked at the overview of the 5 workouts on the disc. Immediately I could rule out 4 of them due to my leg. There's a lot of hopping around and so forth. But I took a crack at the one entitled "Upper Body Tone Up" which uses the band and very little leg action.

And I have to say, I'm very impressed. I got a really nice little work out, so much so that I was sweating and my arms were feeling the burn a little bit. There was very little action on the legs, except for holding down the band for some of the exercises, and it was very easy to learn the moves.

I look forward to being able to try the other exercises at some point when my knee gets stronger. But for now, this is a good addition to the repertoire and I can reduce my treadmill time by 20 minutes if I add this in.

Anyone else have good DVD's to recommend?

Updates from the Kitchen and Gym...

I decided today that I was not going to sit around. I had been given permission to walk, and so I decided to hop up on the treadmill. I put Life of Brian in the VCR (man is the picture quality sucky) and decided to do a half an hour, which is still about 15 minutes less than the aerobics I was doing. I started out VERY slowly, and built up to a speed of about 2.4--I didn't want to go too fast because I was concerned about the knee. After 20 minutes or so, I had to slow it back down because my knee was really starting to hurt. But I did last the full 30 minutes and walked over a mile in that time, so I was pleased. I'll be doing that this week instead of worrying about not doing anything at all.

In signs that something is happening, I went to put on a shirt today and instead of the usual pulling on of the shirt, it literally slid right down over me like something out of a commercial for fabric softener. I never wear tight clothing, but usually there is some sort of adjusting or pulling down of the shirt. Not today. It just slid right on. I was like, "AWESOME!"

We continue to cook and find new things to appreciate in the kitchen. This weekend, I made the pumpkin apple bread out of one of the WW cookbooks. I know it's a fall food, but I really wanted something seriously sweet, and I wasn't going to settle for anything less. Unfortunately for me, this is not seriously sweet. It was actually kind of bland. It was very good, but not what I was expecting after a life time of apple breads, banana breads, etc. I will definitely kick up the amount of pie spice I put in there next time, since I could barely taste any, and I will try a different kind of apple. Still, it was a quick and easy bread to make and only 3 points per very ample slice.

Tonight I'm going to prepare a black bean, corn, and rice salad, since Lauren got me all hot and bothered with hers at our last book club meeting. The rice is sitting in my fridge cooling as I type. I hope I like brown rice. I'm a little ambivalent based on the taste test I had while determining if it was cooked or not.

We also discovered another variety of V8 juice that the General loves. It's a mixed berry type and he can't get enough of it. He told me this evening that he would drink the whole entire bottle if he could, but he didn't think it would be wise.

I won a bento box off Ebay and it arrived this past week. It's so cute, red with a little white bunny, pink flowers, and butterflies. I almost don't want to use it. If you've visited any bento sites, you'll see how detailed and lovely they get when they are filled. I assure you, I'm not making anything photography-worthy. But it will be nice to have this little box filled with my lunch and I'm hoping it will end my what-to-do-for-lunch-on-the-road conundrum. I've got a second box and some accoutrements arriving this week hopefully from a store in San Francisco, and hopefully with that I can start bentoing away. But I don't see myself getting up at 4am to lovingly slice miniscule pieces of red pepper and arrange them just so in order to create a perfect replica of the Mona Lisa in a box. Call me crazy.

We found out that our good friends Tim and Cheryl up in Boston have started WW this week. They are both visually impaired so we're going to be looking at the WW site to see if it's accessible. I did get kinda pissed off when Cheryl told me that she got some of the books in Braille from WW, but they didn't give them the entire equivalent of what's in the print books. When she called to complain, they informed her that they'd given her what was mandated to be provided. I call that capital B, capital S bullshit. Granted, Braille is bulky and can be costly to produce, but that's not her problem, that's theirs. Nice, WW, real nice. Anyway, it was so fun to talk to them about being on the program and swap tips and so forth. Michael's going to be staying with them in a couple weeks when he goes to Boston, lucky bum, but I am staying here. The four of us used to go out together, and Michael would have my arm, Tim would have Michael's arm, and Cheryl would have Tim's arm. Once we went out like that and it was pouring rain and they had on yellow rainslickers and I dubbed us The Puddle Duck Brigade. Good times, I miss them so much and hope they will come to DC sometime soon.

I guess that's about all. Dinner is over and I have 12 points left, so I'm going to allow myself some PB cups tonight, which is what I've been seriously dying for. I'm going to have them with my one serving that is left of Ben & Jerry's light chocolate brownie frozen yogurt--so good you'll never believe it's only 3 points.

And that's about it! Hope everyone else is having a good week. I've got my fingers crossed for my fellow weighers-in as their days approach!!! Let's see if we can break 200 collective pounds sometime by the end of September. :)

Well, Considering...

...that I was down 19 activity points this week from where I usually am, a loss of only .6 is pretty good.

I was disappointed, I won't lie, I really wanted to lose 1.2 and hit 25 on the nose, but it looks like that will have to wait till next week, HOPEFULLY. Till then, I'm happy just to have lost while basically sitting on my butt all week.

Cravings

So, with today's spectacular disappointment on the adoption front (STUPID, STUPID, STUPID SUSAN), what I really wanted to do was bury my face in a trough full of the worst foods available. I had dreams of deep fried everything: pizza, ice cream, french fries, fried dough, hell, I'd have deep fried my own hair and ate it.

This is how I deal with stress and emotional upset. I eat. A lot. And I made a list of foods I was prepared to eat, devil be damned. I wanted KFC--a full bucket of chicken, a quart of mashed potatoes and gravy, I wanted a peanut butter cup sundae from Friendly's, and then I'd make a stop over at the Chinese buffet for a pile of crab rangoons and egg rolls, before going to the fair for cotton candy, fried dough, and if I was lucky, Dippin Dots.

But I hadn't counted on one minor little stumbling block in the road to total meltdown: my husband.

And he was hearing none of this insurrectionist, defeatist talk from me. No sir. He really drew the line when I lay in bed giggling over deep frying pizza, something I've never done but today was quite convinced wouldn't be hard and would probably be quite tasty. Not happening in this household, I was informed. He would take me to dinner, but it had to be within what I was allowed.

Grumble, grumble, I decided I wanted a Friendly's sundae for dinner. 17 of my 21 points. But I could eat it if I wanted to.

"Cookies, that is not dinner!" I was informed.

"But I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant it!"

How about a little cheese with that whine?

"You did not put in all this work these past 2 months to blow it in one night."

SIR, YES SIR!

So finally, I went on the computer and started tabulating what I could eat. I wanted a deep dish pizza from Uno's. 17 points for A THIRD of the Uno Original personal size.

And I knew if I got started, I was going to clean my plate.

So we settled on Applebee's. I had a 3 course dinner for the 17 points that pizza would have cost me. Over dinner the General asked how I was enjoying my chicken sandwich, and I said, "Well, it'd be better if it was fried." He just laughed at me. He actually laughed at me!!!

But I got the last laugh with their chocolate raspberry cake. Mmmm... It almost filled in the gaping hole left in my psyche by the memory of that PB cup sundae.

Damn him for getting on board anyway!!!

Knee Update

Well, it turns out I have something called patellar-femural syndrome and I'm developing arthritis. Years of extra weight, plus overcompensating for my weaker leg, plus driving have worn down my knee's cartilage and now my kneecap is trying to find itself a new home by sliding. It would also appear I may have been overdoing it slightly with my workout routine...

I saw the folks over at the clinic where I had my leg repaired, and I would seriously trust them with my life after the great job they did on my leg. I saw someone new today, and I really liked him, although it's clear that Sunshine is the star of the show. This guy looked just slightly beleaguered, kind of like "I dare you to be disappointed that I'm not Sunshine." But I was a good patient and let him poke around, even when I thought he was trying to kill me. Seriously? It HURT. Joe (the PA) even said, "You've got a lot of movement going on in there."

They took some x-rays to confirm it, showed me some diagrams that I really didn't understand very well, and then sent me across the hall to the physical therapy department. Fortunately, the place where I'm going to have my PT is only 2 streets over from here. Unfortunately, the earliest they can see me is a week from now. And until then, the most activity I'm allowed to engage in is to walk and possibly do water aerobics (fat chance, the Y here is too expensive to join if I'm not sure I'm going to stick with it). Otherwise, I have a few exercises to do daily to strengthen my knee, and I just have to wait for PT.

The good thing about doing WW is that they were very encouraged with my losing weight and taking some of the pressure off my knees. So an added benefit of all this is that my health, even though I'm in pain, is improving. Cool.

This Does Not Bode Well

I have hurt my knee. Badly. Really badly. I am going to the orthopedist tomorrow. This basically means an entire 3 days of sitting on my butt, no activity. I'm freakin'.

Another Loss, Albeit Smaller

This week I am down 1.8 pounds for a total of 23.8. I am definitely happy with this loss, although I wish it could have been .2 more so I could have had an even 2 pound loss this week. I'm going to aim for 1.2 this week to hit 25 pounds total...

The meeting was fun, we talked about eating patterns and I actually participated in the group, which is unusual--I'm usually a watcher and a listener. But I enjoyed it anyway...

So onwards and upwards (or is that downwards?)

And per Lauren's suggestion, I've started a little running total to the right, in case you missed it, of all our losses this year to date. I was VERY impressed with us as a group! :-)

Hope you all have a great week!

Some of the Nuts and Bolts

I thought I would post a few of the practical matters that I am following as part of my Weight Watchers experience. The last 2 or 3 meetings I've been to where I've broken a 5 pound barrier, the leaders have asked me to share what's been working for me.

1. Accountability: this is a big one, perhaps THE biggest one. I feel like having this blog up makes me accountable to you all in a way. Oh, none of you is going to come over and flog me if I mess up a week or two, but it feels good to share a loss and to report back that I've had a good week and lost something. I also feel some accountability to family members who have been supportive. Every week my sister calls on Saturday and asks me to relay my weight loss in terms of bags of sugar and boxes of butter. My husband is up and waiting when I get home from meetings, giving me big hugs and words of encouragement before we sit down to breakfast together and enjoy a nice Saturday morning. Having people around "real time" and "on line" who are checking my progress and encouraging me is helpful.

Additionally, stepping on that scale is a big time taskmaster. Getting on it the first time was a curse. I knew I didn't want to see the numbers that were going to come up, and I was right. It was a shock to the system. But now I actually look forward to it. I don't weigh myself at home, but I do look forward to seeing the numbers at the meetings so I can gauge my progress.

2. Not Going It Alone: I know that this is not something I am trying to do myself. Russell, Amy, Lauren, Annette, Michael, Emily, and Nancy are all doing it too. Plus I have the group at my meetings going through similar experiences. The day I joined, I sat down and read Annette's Weighty Matters blog from beginning to end, following it up with Russell and Amy's blogs about their experiences. Knowing some of the stumbling blocks they encountered helped me to see that I don't need to give up if I have a bad day. And I can talk about it with you all, which is amazing. I emailed the Southern Crew the first time I had a question and I had answers in minutes. It was so nice to know everyone is only an email away!

I really like my Saturday morning group, and although people have encouraged me to find a different group than Saturdays at 7am, it's a nice time for me to go, meet with people, and start off my weekend in a postive light. The losses I've seen lately have been a boon to my spirits, I really like Vicki, our group leader, and I like the way they give a total for the room of how much our group has lost on any given week. I feel like I'm contributing to something greater. And when you're away for a while, people welcome you back like a long lost relative. It's real nice. Plus the little "way to go" and "come back soon" postcards are so nice to receive. You really feel like you haven't been forgotten.

3. Making Smarter Food Choices: This hasn't been too difficult, but there have been a few issues. My number one issue is that I work on the road. It is so hard to eat a sensible lunch in the car, driving between clients. McD's is so convenient, fast, and cheap. I can pack a lunch, sure, but for some reason, I just never feel like it. I'm not hot on deli meat for sandwiches, I work in a LOT of remote territory where it's not easy to find a "to go" salad bar (which would be a royal pain in the butt anyway), and on and on. But ultimately, those are excuses. I've found sandwiches I enjoy and have found a blog on creating bento box lunches, which I am seriously considering... I've tried to arrange my schedule such that I can eat at home for lunch as much as possible--scheduling morning appointments around Stafford or Spotsylvania Counties and spending my afternoons in Prince William, Culpeper, Orange, or Fauquier Counties.

Otherwise, where food is concerned, I'm doing pretty well. It's helpful that Michael is on board with this whole thing, and we are making similar changes. For instance, it didn't used to be a challenge for the two of us to put away a couple of 12 packs of soda in 10-12 days. Now, we buy 2 six packs of 8 oz sodas and they last us the better part of two weeks. My soda intake is way down (I keep hearing Melissa in my head saying "Don't drink calories!") and I only drink a soda if I need a boost on a particularly tiring day. And then it's an 8 oz can and that's that. On occasions I'm just dying for a soda, I'll drink a diet soda, which typically curbs my taste for it for a long time. Otherwise I'm drinking water. If I get tired of water, I throw a Crystal Light lemonade to go in a bottle of water and I'm ready to rock and roll. It's a challenge, for sure, since I didn't like Crystal Light all that much at first, but it's not so bad when you get used to it. And I like lemonade, so that's helpful.

Food substitutions we've made: I've gone with Lauren's whitewheat bread, which is very good, we eat turkey burgers instead of beef, whole wheat pasta instead of white (I still prefer white, but I'm acclimating), fat free ranch or Newman's Own Salad Spray Balsamic Vinaigrette instead of high test salad dressings, Dove and Reese's minis instead of full size big candy bars, flat bread pizza instead of deep dish or rising crust, and 97% fat free hot dogs. I've also started eating sensible snacks like 100 calorie pack carrot cakes from Hostess (only 1 point) or WW Giant Fudge Bars.

Food eliminations: there's not too much we've given up, but we have basically given up most potatos except for potato chips. Michael's eating regular chips and I'm eating baked. We haven't had fries or mashed potatoes in I-don't-know-when. I have given up my (at times daily) Starbucks fix. I went there yesterday and got a chai frappucino and decided to splurge on a scone. And I'll be honest, that scone was fan-freakin'-tastic, but together, they came in at a whopping 19 points, and so for dinner, I had to have next to nothing to make up for it. Even with the activity points, I was so careful not to overeat at supper, I only had 6 points left!

Other food news: I went right to salads when I first started WW, and ate so much salad I thought I'd puke. I was also having trouble using up points that way. So ultimately, I decided I would go to the Giant salad bar, make a great big salad and eat a bit with dinner each night. That seems to be working really well for me and I'm getting in some veggies without going overboard. I like that I don't have to give up things that I love. Michael asked me tonight what I wanted for dinner--we wanted to celebrate having lived here in the 'burg for exactly 3 years--and what I really wanted was pizza and wings. So that's what we had, and it was delicious. And the points added up, so who am I to complain?

Weighing/Measuring: As for weighing and measuring my food, i was really pretty religious about it at first. but now I only do it when I'm packaging up leftovers to make little meals that I can grab and go. I don't want to have to worry about whether or not what I take out of the fridge is a certain number of points, so I bag them appropriately and then write the number of points on the bag. That way, I can do it without thinking.

4. Exercise/Activity: I've always been pretty active--I love walking around and can walk circles around lots of people. All spring I walked the Tidal Basin, and on my doctor's advice, to get extra steps, I don't park right near the entrance to the store any more. But now, when I have a break at work between appointments, rather than go to the Culpeper Library, I take some time to take a walk. If it's hot, I walk around Target or Super Walmart. If it's nice out, I park downtown wherever I am and walk the streets. Every night, Michael and I exercise together in the basement. He hits the treadmill and I roll with Richard Simmons. In addition to Sweating to the Oldies, which I've been doing nightly, I've got 60's Blast Off and Disco Sweat. Unfortunately (?), they are both a lot harder, so I'm sticking with Sweating, which I could do with my eyes closed and I'm putting a bit more oomph into it now to make up for what seems like a fairly easy routine. I've decided that as long as I love it, I'm going to do it. I will put more energy and motion into Sweatin' and that will hopefully keep me going until I'm ready to move to something more challenging.

5. Seeing Tangible Results: All my clothing fits better. I'm more comfortable in tight spaces (for instance, in my bathroom, the sink, tub, and toilet are all right in a tight little row with little wiggle room; theater seats; narrow aisles in stores). My bra size went down. I don't have as intense PMS cravings. (TMI?) My dress for my sister's wedding had to be taken in. My husband and I are having a much easier time sleeping because it's not as hard for us to roll over without disturbing each other--there's more room in the bed. Friends saying, "I can see the difference!" even if I can't. Not getting out of breath as easily when exercising or doing physical labor (hauling tables and chairs out of the church basement wasn't exactly easy, but it wasn't as hard as I'm sure it would have been had I been 20 pounds heavier!). My wedding rings are loose. And this is after only 2 months and 22 pounds.

6. Focusing on Myself: For far too long I've been taking care of many other people in my life. Now at age 32 11/12, I've realized I need and deserve to take care of myself so that I can be here for a long time to come. With the adoption getting underway, I can see a reason now to prolong my life--it will take long enough to have my child in my arms and I want to be with him/her for a long time afterwards. I feel like I can't do anything more for anyone else--I've given all I have to give. And now it's time to take some time for myself and do what I need to do to be happy and healthy.

7. Unintended benefits: Already, I've mentioned that Michael and I are now eating breakfast together on the weekends. This used to be unheard of. I am not a breakfast person. So usually, we would just sort of sleep till we felt like it, I'd get up and go downstairs and toodle around for a while before lunch and we'd meet up at lunch time for some food... Now we're spending our mornings touching base. We spend our evenings together exercising and discussing things after our routines. We are an even bigger source of support and encouragement to one another, and I never thought this would be an occasion to strengthen our marriage on a new level, but it has been!

8. Rewards: When all else fails, bribery is a good incentive. I no longer wish to see food as a reward, so as mentioned, I stole Annette's idea and decided to give myself a tangible reward for every 20 pounds gone. I had previously posted that I'd give myself a book from my wish list, but frankly, I am about drowning in books, and I feel like I need to have something a bit more "special". This weekend was my first time getting rewarded, and I decided to get a new game for the Wii. I picked a doozy--Emergency Mayhem--which when playing, I wound up laughing so hard I was weeping. Unfortunately, the city I was attempting to save didn't make out so well, and I hit a lot of people with my ambulance, but they had it coming. It felt nice to spend a little money on something that I wanted and that I had to work for to get. Michael and I have agreed that the only time I will stray from this formula is if I can get my hands on Wii Fit--I'm allowed to have that one any time I want it. Otherwise, new games will have to be earned.

So that's a lot of information, and it's probably not useful to anyone but me, but there it is. I'm heading to bed now. Hope you are all well and keep on losing! :-D

Thoughts on a Tuesday

I've been doing a lot of thinking the past couple of days about this whole weight loss journey and what it might mean and who I am and how I got here and where I'm going...

It all got started with an experience I started having at work. Working with the visually impaired has been easy on me, as typically they don't have stereotypical ideas about me when I walk in the door... We all know the stereotypes of fat people--lazy, poor eaters, bad health, etc. In fact, I'm quite active, quite healthy, have a broad range of interests, see my doctor, and in general live a pretty good life.

Well, taking folks to the eye doctor so they can find devices to help them see better has become a chore. And the reason why is that for many of these people, when they put on the distance glasses, they can actually see me for the first time clearly, and many of them say, "I didn't know you'd be fat."

This bothers me on so many levels, but the main one that it bothers me on is this: Do you see the person who is trying to help you or do you see the person who is fat? And several of them have brought it up numerous times on home visits.

The fact of the matter is, I'm not so sure I know how to be unfat. I was 9 years old when I hit 100 pounds and bounced around in the low 200's throughout my teen years. After that, it was about clothing size and not weight--I roundly refused to step on a scale after a certain point and started making pledges like, "I will never wear above a size 24" until I did, and then it was "I'll never wear above a size 26." And in fact, I haven't ever worn above a size 26. But only just...

But when the numbers game stopped working, I moved into the territory of, "Well, as long as I never look like him/her!" passing people on the street who I thought I looked thinner then. But the fact of the matter was, I didn't know whether I looked better or worse, because frankly, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror a long, long time ago. I don't know when I stopped wanting to see myself or what I'd become--I remember looking at myself as a "tween" in my grandparents' mirror and being horrified and strangely fascinated at the way my body was changing as I got heavier and heavier, but I don't remember stopping looking. It must have been in high school is all I can think of. I've never worn make up, haven't messed with my hair in forever, so what did I need to look at?

And if I'm being honest, it has pissed me off in the past when people have said, "Oh, you look so much better. Have you lost weight?" Why should how I look be important in that sense? And what are you telling me? That every time we've met up or spoken, you've thought, "Man, she looks like crap!" Is that what you've noticed? Why shouldn't what's important be that over the course of my career, I've helped 100's of visually impaired people? Why shouldn't what's important be that I have a great marriage? Why shouldn't what's important be that I am a good and decent person?

But it could cut both ways. I recently read a piece by a woman who said that her fat was her way of getting rejection out of the way early. That if people rejected her because she was overweight, they couldn't reject her because of some other, much more personal reason. And I wonder if (in some small part) that isn't my own excuse? I don't deal well with people who reject me--I need people to like me. Almost pathalogically... I am a pleaser, a fixer, a helper. I will do anything, often to my own detriment, to make people like me. When in fact, perhaps all they like is my doing, not my being. Because I have definitely noticed that when I take time to step back and take care of myself, those people vanish when I can't be there for them any more.

But is my weight a barrier between me and the rest of the world? I think it's possible. I don't know if there are people out there who took a look at me and made assumptions and gave up on getting to know me. I had a friend in college who was nice to my face but ultimately behind my back did reject me due to my weight and my weight alone. But that is the sole instance I know of firsthand.

And I know that it cut the other way too. It's kind of stereotypical that gay men love to hang around with fat chicks, but honestly, I'm starting to wonder if I knew one single straight man in college. I had a lot of guy friends in college and it's seeming like perhaps 2 of them were straight. And many of you know that my husband and I met through on-line personal ads, but what you may not know is that we met through on-line personals catering to men looking for fat chicks.

So now, I'm shedding pounds and I'm starting to wonder what life is going to be like if I do push through to the ultimate goal. I was looking in my WW folder the other day, the first time I really looked in and saw the numbers 130-164, I freaked a little and tears came to my eyes. I don't remember the last time I weighed that little--possibly 6th or 7th grade. If I make--when I make it--who will I be? What will my life be like? I'm terrified to find out.

But I'm determined to find out too. That's it for tonight... Mr. is home and it's time to have dinner.

Another Good Loss

It has been since June 26th for my last weigh in, so it's been a while... In that time, I managed to lose 4.2 pounds. Amazing. I now weigh less than I've weighed the last 2 years. Incredible. I can't believe how well this works. But R has moved ahead of me by .6... I'll have to redouble my efforts. Mwahaha.

Of course, I am now down another point! YIKES. This week, I went over twice, but it didn't seem to affect anything.

I'm amazed that this happened for a couple reasons.

Number one, I gave up on tracking after we left my in-laws' house. My dad's computer is on the blink and I wasn't able to stick to any kind of schedule.

Number two, I wound up eating whatever the hell I wanted. Granted, it was in much smaller portions and I didn't have seconds or thirds. Still, I was eating potato salad, pizza, Chinese, ice cream, and fried chicken. And it was GOOD.

So the week ahead, I'm down a point. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully now that I'm back on the plan and sticking to it, everything will go well. The tracking is definitely helpful. I had one of those "lightbulb turns on" moments this week. I bought some Dove dark chocolate pieces to get me through the chocolate cravings. And 5 of those litle suckers is 4 points! So I said "Ok, I'll count out 5, but I'll just eat one." And one became 2 and then I reached for the 3rd before my brain kicked in and said, "What the hell are you doing!?"

So the tracking is definitely a consciousness awaker.

And today Mike and I are going to pick up an exercise bike from someone selling one for $25. Hopefully it works well and we fit on it. :-)

Finally!

A big removal week!

I've been dreaming of this--and doesn't it figure? It comes on the early weigh in week. I weighed in today since I don't want to bother with all of it while I am on vacation for 11 days, plus there is no meeting near my dad's house. Don't believe me? Go to the WW site and type in Zip code 13690 for "find a meeting". Doesn't exist!

So I went today and weighed in and I've lost 4.6 pounds! I really didn't think that would be the case. Yesterday was the first time I knowingly went over my points, and my activity has been down this week from last week--PLUS I weighed in 3 days early!

It feels so good. So good.

And I'm even more grateful now for my Saturday meetings, which are nice and quiet and the people are respectful. Today's meeting was out of control and people were a little bit snide towards one woman who kept making (admittedly) long drawn out points that seemed to go nowhere...

Anyway, who cares!? 4.6 gone! A total of 17.8. WOO HOO!

Now comes the real challenge--vacation, with family, all having cook outs and barbeques, and cake and cookies and desserts and my great-grandma's potato salad. But if I can survive that, i can survive anything. :-)

Interesting

We were sitting around the other night and I asked the General, "Where does weight go when you lose it?" He didn't know either, so I asked Joe, who said, "It's turned into energy." But he couldn't explain how you convert matter to energy.

So I just looked it up. And it's a very interesting process.

The answer from the Mayo Clinic is:

When you consume fewer calories than your body needs, your body turns to fat for energy. Your fat cells (triglycerides) provide the fuel for this energy.

Through a series of complex metabolic processes, triglycerides are broken down into two different components — glycerol and fatty acids — which are absorbed into your liver, kidney and muscle. Here, these components are further broken down by chemical processes that ultimately produce energy for your body.

The heat generated through these activities is used to help maintain your body temperature. The waste products that result are water and carbon dioxide. You excrete water primarily in urine and sweat and carbon dioxide in air exhaled from your lungs.

And I just read on the Highlights site that the biggest percentage of weight loss comes from breathing out carbon dioxide and water.

Very interesting.

Drive By

Just got home from the meeting and wanted to drop a quick note to let everyone know I lost 2.6 pounds this week, for a total of 13.2.

We're heading to Richmond. Bye for now!

What's Cookin'?

Well, as much fun as it is to pull a frozen meal out and have the points already calculated for me, the time came to get back to some cooking. Those frozen meals from WW and other similar companies have TONS of sodium in them, so it's better if I get cooking from scratch.

I went on the WW website and downloaded a whole pile of recipes. We've tried a few this week and it went pretty well. I only got recipes I thought the General would eat and he has enjoyed them.

So far, we've tried Southern-style oven fried chicken and cheeseburger casserole. I also made macaroni and cheese for myself. The chicken and casserole were fantastic. The chicken is only 5 points per serving and the casserole is 4. The mac and cheese was not that great--it was OK but nothing to write home about. But at 5 points, I could hardly complain. And since I don't cook with salt, I could limit the sodium nicely.

We did wind up dipping our chicken in bbq sauce, and I put salsa on my cheeseburger casserole, while the General smothered his in ketchup (of course). They weren't exactly bland, but they needed some pizazz. Salsa and bbq sauce do nicely, and salsa is a free food, while BBQ sauce and ketchup are only a point.

Tomorrow we're going to try a sausage hero and this weekend we'll try a meatloaf. Then I'll have to find some more recipes to keep us going. But the General gave everything so far a thumbs up and that's all I need to know. And the recipes have been fairly simple to prepare, as an added bonus.

The Boobs Are the First To Go

Hmpf.

Last night I had to go pick up a bra to wear to The Wedding. I honestly don't have a clue what size bra I wear, and I've taken some measurements and tried some bras on and none of them seem to fit right. However, I decided to go with what I thought was the correct measurement after putting my measurements in on line--a couple of sizes larger than I thought and than I was wearing.

Well, The Ladies were lovin' the bra I tried on since they had room to breathe, but no real support, I'll be quite honest. So I had the salesgirl go get me a bra in the size I was currently wearing.

Too big again.

I've gone down a cup size. My sister had a lot of fun strapping me into that torture chamber (only a man would have invented a long line strapless bra), but The Ladies are slowly deflating...

I cursed her out for making me go on a diet--she suggested that if I was that stressed out about a dress, I could diet for 6 weeks up to her wedding and then go back to doing what I wanted afterwards... She said it was all my fault I joined Weight Watchers and it was actually working.

Then we started snickering, but I could scarcely breathe so we had to stop.

I'm going to look hot in that dress, which came on Friday and which I L-O-V-E love. And I'll love not wearing it when it gets too big :-)

Removal Again

So, I was a bit worried this week because I let the counting fall by the wayside just a bit and a few times I had no idea what I was eating would "cost" in terms of points. For instance, the General and I planned to go to Uno's for dinner on Thursday, but when we got to the mall, the Uno's had closed! So we went to Sbarro's. I find in these cases, I have a tendency to undereat, as opposed to overeat, because I'm so nervous about the points values.

So today, I got up at 6:30, not having gone to bed till 1:30 with preparations for the shower underway until the wee hours, and dragged myself over there. I felt good about weighing in, but I didn't think it would be much--I thought maybe a pound or two.

In fact, it was 3.8! I've lost over 10 pounds, now at 10.6 pounds gone. I'm in shock. I got another sticker this week and a big round of applause from the group. I'm so, so happy.

So today at the shower, I've modified the recipes a bit to keep them low, but I'm just going to enjoy myself. I lose a point again this week, so I'm down 2 points from where I started, but I don't mind. I haven't been using them all anyway.

So that's the news from the 'burg. Back to decorating and cooking! :-)

Weekly Weigh In

So, I rolled out of bed this morning at 6:37 and still managed to hit my meeting at 6:48 somehow. I am not big on getting ready in the morning.

Anyway, I was driving there and thinking, "I feel kinda blobby, I know I've gained weight." Really psyching myself out. "Why am I bothering?" negative talk.

But I got there and stepped on the scales, and lo and behold, I've lost another 4.8 pounds, bringing my total to 6.8 in 2 weeks. I got my first 5 pound sticker for my bookmark :-)

I almost cried there and then. I was so proud of myself. This week, I was really, really proud of myself. I cut back on the exercise a bit from week one, where I was REALLY burning it up, and I tried to space out my points better--consequently 2 days I left zero points behind and one day I went over by .5 points. I am not using the Flex points, preferring to leave them instead in case I miscalculate somehow with the regular points. I'm sure that will change as my points go down and I feel the need for more!

So it's been fun and interesting. The General and I are good motivators for each other--on the days I don't feel like exercising, he gets me up and vice versa. We are both paying strict attention to portions, but still enjoying ourselves.

This week was a real challenge--Saturday, Sunday, AND Monday I was faced with buffets for dinner... An event at Jacalyn's church on Saturday evening was chock full of goodies, but I tried to eat a lot of crudites, which I think helped. Sunday evening we lost power for 7 hours, and I felt like challenging myself with how I could do in the face of all that food, so we went to the Golden Corral. And Monday night was book club, which is always a pot luck.

What is hard is not knowing how something is prepared or what's in it. I try to go armed with a bit of knowledge about what the general idea of the points for something might be. Like book club night--I knew what everyone was bringing, but I wasn't entirely sure how it was prepared. I went on the ETools and plugged in everything and got a basic idea of what the points values were and how much I could eat. Then I promptly left the list sitting on my desk at work. So I ate approximately half of what the actual numbers were, not intentionally, but more out of fear of going over.

This week I got the New Member Deluxe Kit thingy, and so now I can have the booklets with me if I get desperate. I think that will help.

Some things that I really like are the WW giant fudge bars--delicious and only 1 point each. I ran out of them, so I'm going to have to get some more. I also really like the Etools--I hate using that tracker thingy and writing everything down all the time. I much prefer going to the computer and plugging it in. I also like the points system--it feels good to be able to know very quickly and easily if I can/should eat more in a given day. It is very hard to use up the points--the days I've used them up are generally days I am "drinking calories" as Melissa says and have a soft drink.

Things I don't like: multigrain waffles from Target. I finished the box this morning. No more. So heavy and hard to eat! I'm also not at a point I can tell what a serving size is very easily for something like a piece of chicken or some mashed potatoes or something. We went to Ruby Tuesday's the other night and before we went, I looked up their menu and picked something out. But as we were driving over there, I got to thinking that maybe the information was only for the chicken and not also for the potatoes and the broccoli and the garlic bread. So I only ate half my dinner, and good thing too! I don't know what they do to broccoli over there that turns it into a 3 point food, but sheesh!

So I'm learning. But for now, I'm going to celebrate that there is 6.8 pounds less of me than there used to be. And keep on trucking!!! I've got a dress to fit into in 4 weeks. :-D

Well, well...

Had my week 2 meeting this morning and apparently my body is taking tips from Russell--I'm down exactly 2 pounds. I would have thought it would be more, I was a little disappointed it wasn't more until I realized that I'd been steadily gaining weight and this is the first real loss I've had since I don't know when.

So, it's working. :-) And I'm down a point, which should help as I try to eat my points this week.

I got my little bookmark and I am very proud of myself. :-) Now to get in extra activity...

Here's How I KNOW He's On Board

Michael came home tonight and said, "Susan, do you realize it has been exactly one week since I've eaten any french fries?"

Anyone who knows him knows that's saying something!

I'm doing worse with using up the points. Tonight I left 8 on the table. I made some popcorn tonight to enjoy with LOST and I thought when I calculated it, it would come up at least a point, but no, it came up zero. Fitting, since it had zero flavor really.

So screw it. For now, as long as I don't go over, I'm not going to worry too much about falling short. 8 is a lot of points to leave behind, the most I've left behind previously is 2.5. It's just been one of those days. And my dinner was relatively light--I was delighted to discover that Hebrew Nationals 97% fat free hot dogs are only a point each. Unless you double up, in which case they are 2.5. So I did, but no buns. Looking back, maybe I should have eaten some buns. I dunno. I got a LOT of water in today. I probably drank 3 times the water as any other day this week.

Anyway, I didn't exercise tonight, I'm not feeling very well, so that makes up for it. Or so I tell myself.

Tomorrow is my last day before the big weigh in. I'm a bit nervous and hopeful. If I don't see some sort of a loss on the scale, I'll be devastated. But I think I probably will--my shorts are already slightly more comfortable. :-)

I Think I've Killed Him

My poor husband, that is!

We decided that we might as well hit the ground running with the exercising even though I don't have to worry about it until next week, technically. So I've been back to sweating with the oldies for the past 3 days and Michael's been on the treadmill while I've been dancing around the living room.

Tonight, we had a bigger than normal dinner--or heavier anyway. And so I finished "sweatin'" and he finished "treadin'" and now he's snoring away on the couch.

Poor little angel. I wuvs him.

He's doing really great too. He isn't yet joining WW, following Talmadge's idea of "I'll just do what you're doing, honey, and not pay for it." He's cut his food consumption in half. It's amazing. We're both excited and hopeful. It definitely helps to have right next to me! :)

Nothing Would Surprise Me Today Except for This

So, I went to bed last night leaving 1.5 points on my plate. I was trying to eat a snack at 10pm last night and I was like "This is just freakin' ridiculous. Uncle!"

I'm sure I'll look back on these days and think, "Yeah, remember the days I could eat anything?"

But anyway, something has come up that I did not expect.

I am having a hard time with whole grain or multigrain foods.

This morning I made frozen multigrain waffles and strawberries and about a halfway through breakfast, it got to be too much and I threw up. I didn't feel ill or anything, I guess it just felt too dense in my mouth or something, and I wound up losing it.

Tonight for dinner, I made the WW recipe of mushroom quesadillas, substituting a multigrain tortilla for my usual flour tortilla. While I didn't throw up, I had that same heavy feeling in my mouth of just not wanting to swallow. Fortunately I kept my meal down, but I wonder if anyone else had this problem when starting? Does this heaviness go away? Or maybe it's density? I don't know, but I don't like it.

Dinner is done and I still have 5 points left--Michael and I were laughing that I could eat 50 cups of 94% fat free popcorn after dinner--but I had some trail mix that was 5 points for 3 Tbsp, which is RIDICULOUS. Time was I would eat that entire bag. So that got me down to 5. I am going to have some dessert after Michael and I do our exercising, but I'm speculating I'll be leaving 2 points behind. We had a CRAZY afternoon here, which I'll blog about back on my main blog, but even so, I managed to sneak in a fudge bar. Those WW fudge bars are SO GOOD. Holy crap. I had no idea they would taste so good.

I am going strictly by the points on the website now, and so far, this is what 35 points have bought me for today:

Breakfast:
2 multigrain waffles with reduced calorie syrup
1/2 cup unsweetened fresh strawberries
1 c. cran raspberry juice

Lunch:
Turkey burger on multi grain roll
Salsa
Lettuce, 1 slice tomato, 1 slice onion
Just for One: Broccoli, Carrots, and Italian Seasoning

Snacks:
Fudge Bar
10 grape tomatoes with 1 T fat free ranch dressing

Dinner:
2 Cheese and Mushroom Quesadillas
1 c. lemonade
3T trail mix

That is a lot of damned food and I'm STILL behind. But as I pointed out to Michael, time was, I would sit and eat a bag of chips and not think about it. So now, I'm just having to think about it. I guess it seems like more because of it.

I also took some time today to plug my fave drink at Starbucks into the WW Points Calculator. A grande chai creme frappucino with whip weighs in at a cool 10 points. OUCH. Fortunately, I think they do have a light cream base and I could get a tall without the whip. Sadly for me, this is the only caffeinated beverage that really wakes me up and gets me going. So I'm going to have to work on that.

Food craving of the day: Brownies and a Coke. I plugged Ghirardelli Brownies into the counter just for the hell of it and it came up at 4 points--not too bad for a 2 inch brownie. Still, I'm not going to make them. All that crap is going up to my sister's. I cleaned out our meager pantry today and will drop it all off up north this week sometime.

I also found 2 more friends today who are active in WW. Nancy in Colorado is doing the core plan and Emily is, I think, doing the flex plan. And Emily is local, so I'm excited to hear back from her!

That's it from here.

Welcome!

Well, here's where I plan to track my progress on Weight Watchers, including weight lost, exercise, food choices, and all the rest of it.

Why did I join Weight Watchers?

Well, like many people, I've tried dieting on and off for years. A couple of years ago when I was living in NoVa, my sister and I invented something called "The Plan" which actually worked well for me. But we both quit doing it, and that was that. Looking at it, I think it was Weight Watchers.

However, ultimately, it comes down to this: I don't like to waste money. And I just paid 40 dollars to these people. And by God, I'm not wasting that 40 dollars.

Plus, I have seen the success Annette has had with following Weight Watchers, and Russell and Amy have started in on it, so I figured "WTH?" This is like the Universe telling me it's time to grow up, quit making excuses, and get my life together. Because I am not happy about feeling bad.

I can live with looking the way I do, hell, I've been overweight most of my life. But I don't really feel all that great any more. My back hurts. My ta ta's hurt. I get out of breath sometimes running up the stairs. And I know in terms of health, my skin, hair, and nails aren't healthy.

It all just sucks.

So, I'm working on it. Starting today. Annette started in May 2006, and I'm a little late to the party, but whatever. I'm here and that's what counts.

I like Annette's idea of giving herself gifts when she reaches a certain point, so my goal is every 20 pounds, I'll get a little reward to myself as well. I have a wish list of over 90 books I want, and so each 20 pounds, I'll pick up the one I want the most. First goal: Getting my hands on 1001 Books To Read Before You Die.